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Topical Depression

by The Harmony Motel

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1.
The Plan 01:57
2.
The curdled milk of kindness Intensity of blindness We need to take control And blow the dream to hell The citadel forsaken Invited to be taken Most of all we matter Bugs about to splatter In over our heads, pushing and swinging all the way We've gone past the fence, it's all making sense The undo command Raging with excitement Licensed to act on it It's unconditional Some would call it love Built upon objection To all the intersection We're reaching the crescendo The apex of our lies In over our heads, blows raining harder on the way We've broken the door, taken the floor Running the show Played by the game, rolled like the dice Believed in the conjure and doubled down twice Played by the game, counter and steal So educated that we outwit the real In over our heads, where the hell are they? They've gotta pay Exactly why we've got to try? The hell do we know Played by the game, rolled like the dice Believed in the conjure and doubled down twice Played by the game, played by the game Abandoned, it's over - played by the game Music and lyrics by Stanton Hall No Can Do Music 2021
3.
We played around as the deal got real Put on an act and faked commitment Just pissed away the quickly passing days We fell behind and got nothing done So much to answer for, so little time, a lot to prove We've got to move Gettin' started late, now we're catching up, oh yeah Made a mess of everything but now we're paying up, yeah yeah yeah I meditated even though I'm not Zen Got deep inside my head but now I kind of feel whole again...now and then Did not deliver much of quality Still waste a day or two but I'm improving here and there Just might get somewhere Gettin' started late, now I'm catching up, oh yeah Growing better late than never, the bloom is still to come, yeah Sometimes there's shame, made nothing of our name I'm gonna do just a little more and make it up to you Gettin' started late, now we're catching up, oh yeah Made a mess of everything but now we're paying up, yeah yeah yeah Gettin' started late, now I'm catching up, oh yeah Growing better late than never, the bloom is still to come, yeah Sometimes there's fear, but remember, be clear: The thoughts will pass us by, and the darkness, too
4.
Faces 02:49
Full disclosure: I had some wine Probably swerved along a line But my story is correct Even with the slurred affect Look, I’ll get straight to the point: The people crowded in the joint I needed buffer, I needed space With all the breathing in my… Face, the faces in my face The faces I suspect All you sweet exposed faces Back away, back away, back away Headed toward the exit door Got jammed in place, stuck to the floor It’s like these people all forgot All that hiding was for naught While I wiggled in the stack I spilled somebody’s ice and Jack They turned and eyed me in my place And I prayed they wouldn’t spit in my… Face, the faces in my face The faces I suspect All you sweet exposed faces Back away, back away, back away I used to be a social man Warmest hugs and touching hands But paranoia’s now in style And it will be for a while I love you, my dearest friends Affection lasts until the end But please refrain from an embrace And keep your distance from my… Face, the faces in my face The faces I suspect All you sweet exposed faces Back away, back away, back away
5.
I went down to the market that long day Saw the mushrooms here and there that fine day So many choices, so many choices We're trying to get a, we're trying to get ooooh-ooh-oooh-uh-oooh-ooh We're trying to get so many actions, here and there, they're coming at you anywhere - but I picked one, felt strange Though it seemed worried and complicated, as if I need Grammarly in my brain right now I grabbed them up, what did I did? What did I do? Later I'll be wishing I didn't waste three dollars or two Oooh-uh-uh-uh-ooooh-ooh Oooh-uh-uh-uh-ooooh-ooh Went to the market to see what they were I paid for them, uh-uh-oh But when I paid I didn't really know what I was looking for Got back home and I washed them off When I tried another bite I felt there was some craziness happening Turn it out turn it out turn it out Swing it out swing it out swing it out and then I realized [scat singing ensues] Things are going crazy, those mushrooms that I ate Those mushrooms, mushrooms, why did I buy those mushrooms? As if a disco party was at myself I felt the waves crashing in, got to move it the right way Got a list and I was growing closer "I gotta run" but I felt myself I felt my legs staying still as if they didn't move i was digging along My eyes were sore, I did not know. What did I eat? There were giant squirrels and monkeys so tiny but what was it in? There was an elephant the size of ant, an ant the size of an elephant! Things were crossword, upside down, spinnin', spinnin', spinnin' around! Da-dada-da-da-da-da-da, don't eat those mushrooms Why did I waste my money there and uhhhhhhhh! Back on the couch I feel myself wrong I groan, "What did I do?" Gotta call the doctor today, I'm gonna call the doctor I'm really gonna have to call someone for those mushrooms, mushrooms So 'til then, I'm out at the doctor - see ya there! [end scat]
6.
His friends all think he's gone blind Just lost the plot completely, stuck inside the introduction He's drifted right past the line Too busy hanging on his every word He tears his ticket in half (don't do that, don't do that) But needs both ends to recover his broken voice and spirit His lock is picked so he laughs (broken spirit laughs) He should've known their hands were in him good He might've understood Just dying for a bit of attention Climbing shoulders on the ascension Riding the road paved with his intentions Wherever he's headed, baby, that's where he goes Begging for a touch of confession 'Cause nothing beats the taste of a lesson He knows he always can count on deep discretion However they'll have him, baby, that's how he'll go
7.
8.
Stuck inside a padded box Drawing parallels, taking stock What will you draw from your topical depression, and on and on and on? Invite you in but you know I can't Stand at the door and hear you rant If I were you I'd like to do the same Everyone's turned on themselves and each other Hit us again and give us another Oh, just to paddle away to a sandbar we mistake for an island Hiding from the fire smoke Curling 'round your tender throat How will you beat back your topical depression, and on and on and on? We dream of meeting in our tiny room And not around a viral tomb But which is likelier, I wish I knew Everyone's turned on themselves and each other Hit us again and give us another Oh, we pine for the day when we can breathe freely and without any cover And I'm just strumming away to a bridge that needs a sturdier structure
9.
Yet Again 02:36
It's gonna just tear up my heart When we go through this dance again In fact, it's not even a dance Because I don't know how to reach for your hand Fell into a hole of doubt I can't reach the rungs to climb out And it's tearing my heart yet again It's gonna just darken my dreams When reality hardens and holds The truth of the matter is clear There is no road that won't dead-end in tears Deep in impossible math No solution with you in my path And it's darkening my dreams yet again I've read every tale of woe And watched every scene of devastation So I know that I've cast my role and it's not the hero No, I'm not the hero It's gonna blow my fantasy When I finally make my move You'll look down at your whiskey drink And say "I really don't know what to think" My fixation I've come to find Neglected to require your mind It's blowing my fantasy again But surely my life is made - why do I feel so afraid? I'll go tearing my heart yet again I'll go tearing my heart yet again
10.
You came by my house Wednesday after school Guitars in the driveway, flowers spelled out by you It was time to go home, return your mom's car Just a left turn on Five Forks, but you didn't get far No, not nearly far enough A crunch and a shatter, I ran to your door (we'd just been playing guitars) Didn't know if you could hear me, was afraid to know more (we'd just made plans for a show) Called your mom from the pay phone, day was changing to night (we'd always know each other) Just a left turn on Five Forks, if only it was right Yes, it would have been enough I'm doing the nice slow fade You're encased in amber Oh, I'm afraid I'll forget who you were (what a fine one you were, what a fine you) You've been gone longer than you were around (but you're still around, I can feel you) So many trips taken 'round a star (another trip around the star, and I still miss you) And I'm not the only one who brings you to mind We keep you in mind, we won't release you
11.
Been forever since I've seen a face that I could touch People flattened in two dimensions, they speak too much I go out and wander in a crowd, they're all looking down I don't know how they manage it, no I've been catching up on useless dreams about waking up My fingers arguing with total strangers Make my point and change the mind of no one Why should I? Just to hear myself? Maybe I'm the fool for checking in When I could be with someone, touching skin Comment, comment - oh, everybody wants to Comment, comment - oh, got to know about your Comment, comment - you know I've gotta comment, too Used to know about you in the flesh, you made me laugh But when I heard your words instead of hearing Your tone was wrong, your atonal song Are you a person or persona playing a villain in an endless film? It's been shooting in the same location since we last touched skin Comment, comment - oh, everybody wants to Comment, comment - oh, got to know about your Comment, comment - I've got comments! Tonight we're gonna go eye to eye, voice to voice And try to remember what we like about each other Comment, comment - oh!
12.
What of the time? It shrinks and it stretches and stalls Where has it gone? Forever and never at all All of this time, you are here and you are real Keeping it close, the steadiest keel On this definite, indefinite and circuitous course That we run Depending and being depended upon Until a foothold is won What is this life? Projecting straight into a fog How will it play out When it offers no true analog? Worry the head with thoughts that go uncatalogued All of this life, you’ve been here and oh so real Lying so close, the warmest of feels On this definite, indefinite and circuitous course That we’re on Depending and being depended upon Until the danger is gone

credits

released August 13, 2021

All songs by Stanton Hall except “Mushrooms” which is by Hazel H.
(BMI, 2021)

All sounds made and recorded at home by Stanton Hall except:

Paul Brainard - pedal steel on “Topical Depression”

Alison Dennis - recorder and organ on “Played by the Game”

Hazel H - spoken words on “Faces”; vocals on “Mushrooms”

David Ricardo - harmony vocals on “Played by the Game”

Bradley Skaught - outro guitars on “Played by the Game”; lead guitars on “Gettin’ Started Late” and “Comment, Comment”

Produced and mixed by Stanton Hall except for “Played by the Game,” “Gettin’ Started Late” and “Topical Depression” which were mixed by Sean Flora and Petra Manis, Field Trip Recording

Mastered by Kirk Larsen

Cover art by Amber Lapp

Art design by Joe Kobjerowski

Thanks to everyone who has supported my endeavors into this fantastically non-lucrative pursuit, especially my beloved family. Thanks to Andy Giegerich and the Braxeling family for adopting me. Thanks to my mates in The Zags, especially David Ricardo from whom I’ve learned a lot about making, playing, and recording music. Thanks to Bradley Skaught of The Bye Bye Blackbirds for the tasty licks and frequent encouragement. And thanks to YOU for surviving the mess of 2020-21. Who knows what crisis is coming next, but for now we’ve made it!

In memoriam: Erin Bradley, Jay Haggerty, Joe Skyward, Scott Timberg.

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The Harmony Motel Portland, Oregon

The Harmony Motel is a project of Portland, OR songwriter Stanton Hall, also bass player-vocalist for The Zags: thezags.bandcamp.com

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